Many relationships contain energy vampires and the partner may not even know. There are up to 20% of people, both male and female, that have vampire characteristics. That is a full 1 in 5 people and each of them in relationships affects another person. This means almost 60 million people are directly or indirectly affected by an energy vampire. It is highly likely that you know or are in a relationship with one at this moment. This can be tough if you are highly sensitive or if you are an empath.
Energy vampires can be anyone. It can be a colleague, parent, or even friend. You may not even realize you are dealing with this type of vampire unless you have been threatened. When they are not threatening others, they can be full of love, even charming. When they are on the attack, you may be showered with insults or shamed. They may shame you for your body size, age, income, social status, or become abusive. These individuals who were once charming can become distant and moody, so you may walk on eggshells while simultaneously spend time admiring and praising them so peace can be found. This can alter your self-esteem for the worse to the point you feel like something is wrong with you deep down.
The constant stress and low self-esteem can cause problems, including chronic inflammation at a cellular level due to high cortisol levels. When this happens, it encourages us to indulge in other poor behaviors like drinking, drugs, and poor food choices. This adds to the inflammation and the cycle continues. Many empaths do not realize they are around an energy vampire until they are physically ill. The good news is, most professionals are learning how these energy vampires function. They can help you identify the personality traits and manipulation tactics that are common among the vampires. Then you can learn to recognize the behaviors and protect yourself from them.
Strategies for Protecting Yourself
If you find yourself in any kind of relationship with an energy vampire, then protection is important. While self-protection should be the primary goal, it can be tough when the person is someone you must see. Below are a few ways to protect yourself when they are around.
The most likely partners for energy vampires are empaths. This is because empaths truly believe everyone is good and tend to be willing to make excuses for energy vampires or stay in a toxic relationship. Empaths hold off on admitting that an energy vampire is really just in it for themselves. We must realize these types of people exist and protect ourselves.
Empaths are intuitive by nature, but after time with an energy vampire, this ability can be lost. One way to continue to build this intuitiveness is through a gut instincts journal. Whatever your gut says about a person, trust it and write it down. Write out specific red flags and record how a situation plays out. When around a potential energy vampire, pay attention to how they treat every person in all situations.
Reality Check Friend
Find a clearheaded, trustworthy, honest friend that has vampire radar of sorts. This should be someone you can reach out to when you are feeling uncertain about a person or situation. A good friend who really knows you and hasn’t fallen for the vampires charms should be the one you choose. Call this person when you feel uncertain.
Put Yourself First
Energy vampires are known to fight for control meaning they can be passive aggressing, angry, and manipulative. They are amazing at pitting people against each other, so when you encounter such qualities, step back and remember you can live a joy filled life. Your feelings and needs are important and this should be a priority.
Pat Yourself on the Back
Empaths often give others too much credit, yet deflect their own praise. Learn to pat yourself on the back for who and what you are good at in life.
One of the best and most obvious ways to avoid a vampire is to minimize interactions with the person. Learn to turn people down when needed, by saying no. This will take some practice, especially for an empath, but it is needed for protection. If starting out saying no is to hard, try a “I’ll get back to you” to buy some time to build up courage.
Once you finally understand energy vampires, you will need support from more than just your reality check friend. A therapist can help, as can a recovery group. If you are in a relationship with a vampire, get out as soon as possible for your own health and well-being.
Quality Time with Self
Make sure to take 15-20 minutes a day just to take care of yourself. Meditate, take a long, hot bath, or walk in nature. Visualize negative energy draining from the body and then process personal emotions to center yourself.
Boundaries are important in all relationships, but especially important for energy vampires and empaths. Setting boundaries is essential to health, so limit screen time, read, limit negative news, and only take on projects you really have time for in life. Also limit the time you spend with those complaining about life and if you cannot, take more personal time to relax.
Take a friend inventory to make sure those you are around are filling you up, not draining you. If someone you are around always seems to drain you, then beware. In fact, you may be dealing with a vampire.
An empath is around to anchor the light. Your light is grounded in love, service, and compassion, not martyrdom. First love yourself and be the light you were meant to be. Make it safe for others to do the same.